marți, 22 ianuarie 2013

Wikipedia

Cea mai mare enciclopedie online... mda, cum sa nu.
Printre multele articole extraordinare postate de catre terte persoane, unele neavand nici o legatura cu astfel de site, se regaseste si un mic "ghid" al injuraturilor romanesti, explicate literalmente in engleza. La urma urmei, straini trebuie sa stie unde pasesc. Iata cateva adunate:

  • a (şi-)o pune: to have sexual intercourse (literally “to put it,” “it” being the penis)
  • a (i-)o da la checheres: to have sexual intercourse (literally “to give it,” “it” being the penis)
  • a suge inima: to have oral sex(literally “to suck the heart,”)
  • a şi-o trage: to have sexual intercourse (literally “to pull it,” with “it,” as above, being the penis)
  • a da în geantă: to have sexual intercourse (literally “to hit the purse”)
  • a băga mielu’ la căldură: to have sexual intercourse (literally “to take the lamb somewhere warm”)
  • a băga lemnul in sobă: to have sexual intercourse (literally “to put the wood into the fireplace”)
  • a băga osul in ciorbă: to have sexual intercourse (literally “to put the bone into the soup”)
  • a o lua în mână: to masturbate (literally “to grab it with the hand”)
  • a face degeţica: to masturbate (only used of female masturbation)
  • a da cu bidineaua: to masturbate (literally “to brush”)
  • a se juca cu răţuşca: to masturbate (literally “to play with the ducky”)
  • a da la labă: to masturbate(literally “hitting the paw”)
  • a (se) fute: to fuck; to have sexual intercourse (from the Latin “futuere”). The word can be used in a number of ways for example if one asks if a young female “se fute” this means he actually inquires if she has had sex before or if she is open to the idea.
  • a codoşi: to pimp someone
  • a face trotuarul: literally meaning ‘doing the sidewalk’ means prostituting one’s self (because prostitutes often stand on sidewalks while attempting to attract potential customers). A similar expression is ‘a vinde pizda’ which literally means “selling pussy”. In regular language “a se prostitua”, “to prostitute one’s self” is used.
  • a da nămolul la deal or a impinge nămolul la deal or a ridica mămăliga la deal: literally meaning “to push the mud uphill” means “to fuck in the ass”
  • a arăta muie: showing the middle finger pointing upwards roughly equivalent to “flipping the bird” in English
  • a da la buci: to have anal sex. Very commonly used also with the meaning of having normal sexual intercourse
  • a da limbi în pizdǎ: to give cunnilingus (literally “to give tongue inside the pussy”)
  • a da la magazia cu damf: to make anal sex (literally “to hit the reeked storeroom”)
  • a manca salam barbos cu curul: to make anal sex (literally “to eat bearded salami with the ass”)
  • a impinge cacatul la roaba: to make anal sex (literally “to push the shit in the wheelbarrow”)
  • a da la nutella: to make anal sex (literally “to hit the nutella”; nutella is the name of a chocolate cream product)
  • ochiul maro: asshole (literally “brown eye”)
  • ochiul cu gene incalcite : asshole (literally “the eye with tangled eyebrows”)
  • a cobori mosul in beci: to have intercourse (literally meaning “to lower the old man into the basement”)
  • a parca shorloboanca: to have intercourse (literally meaning “to park the dick”) – (shorloboanca – synonym of pula)
  • a da cu mobra-n gaste: to have intercourse (literally meaning “to run the mobra into the geese”) – (mobra-type of motor bicycle – used as a synonym for pula)
  • a face o memeaca: – synonym with a lua la muie which means blow job
  • a da la biriboanca: – synonym with a da la buci in other words to have sexual intercourse
  • a baga magarul in beci: – synonym with a da la buci in other words to have sexual intercourse
  • a deschide viitorul: – synonym with a dezvirgina in other words to have sexual intercourse with a virgin woman
  • a manca salam de sibiu cu capul viu:- literally “to eat sibiu salami with the head alive”—sibiu is a town// Meaning “blow job”
  • a da ca-n oala cu sarmale:- literally “to hit like in the sarmale pot”-sarmale is a traditionally food meaning intercource
  • a lua la papacioc – synonym with a lua la muie which means blow job
  • A lua porcul la tranta:-means “you should play a little with my dick”
  • A baga milogu-n traista:-means to have sexual intercource(literally to put the poor man in the bag)
  • A da ca surdu-n tobe:-to have violent sexual intercource(literally to hit the drums like a deaf person)
  • a spala Renaultul – synonym to having sexual intrecourse (literally “To wash the Renault”)
  • a baga zacusca in beci – synonym to having sexual intercourse (literally “taking the <<zacusa>> to the basement); zacusca is a local food, a mixture of different vegetables held in jars.
  • a (i)-o pune pe nas – synonim to having oral sex (literally “to put it on her nose”)
  • a atenta cu zmardanul la clocitoare – means to rape (literally “to atentate with zmardanul at the brooding”)
  • a forta intrarea in clopotnita – means to rape (literally “to force the entry of bell”)
  • a duce busteanul la castor – means to rape (literally “leading the log to the beaver”)
  • a ciufuli cacatul – means to have anal sex (literally “to ravish the shit”)
  • a duce pionierul la ecluza – means to have sex (literally “to lead the schoolboy to the watergate”)
  • a da cu barba-n coaie- to have oral sex (literally “to hit the balls with the chin”)
  • a da cu fruntea-n buric- to have oral sex (literally “to hit the belly button with the forehead”)
  • a lua masa in genunchi – to have oral sex (literally “to take the food in your knees”)
Sursa: Sugestiv.wordpress.com

Faza zilei :)) (Bun bun bun...) - 22.01.2013


Într-un fel nevastă-mea e ca Pinocchio.
De fiecare dată când mă minte i se umflă nasul…

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Bulă a primit o tabletă de ziua lui. A deschis cutia, a aruncat tableta cât colo şi a exclamat:
- Ura! Folie cu bule!

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O familie tânără trăia într-o garsonieră. Înainte de a face sex, soţul a decis să verifice dacă fiul său doarme:
- Fiule, adu-mi te rog un pahar cu apă…
Linişe… Soţia spune:
- A adormit.
După sex stăteau întinşi în pat şi se mângâiau. Deodată se aude vocea puştiului din întuneric:
- Şi cât mai stau aici cu paharul în mână?


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- Care sunt efectele negative ale consumului de votcă?
- Pe măsură ce o consumi, are tendința să se termine!